OK. I am going to try to be as honest as possible because this subject is one that I feel does not get enough discussion and the outcome of that unfortunate fact is destruction.
It is important for me to first recognize and then admit that I am somewhat extreme in my views and know that it is unreasonable to expect others to feel as I do. There are reasons for my extremism and unfortunately, some are due to difficult life experiences that I regret and desperately wish would have been avoided.
As a boy innapropriate TV, magazines, movies, experiences and dialogue were way too accessible and part of my life. Unfortunately, I have vivid memories and images that are up to 35 years old. Not as an excuse but as a reality those experiences led to regrets. As I have grown reflection is both good and bad. Good in that I have been able to piece the puzzle at least somewhat together. I have no question in my mind that there is a direct correlation between my exposure to innapropriate circumstances and material and challenges that faced me in life where I performed less than satisfactory.
These reflections and realizations have caused an interesting reaction. I have become bitter toward societies casual acceptance to innapropriate things.
TV
Movies
Magazines - just notice the magazines at the check out stands in Walmart... and then protest!
Dress
Unhealthy Relationships
Selfishness
etc...
My wife has to deal with my extremism. I feel a sense of having to make up for my lack of awareness and focus for so many years. For well over a decade now I have voiced my objections. I am here to tell you that even one voice can make a difference. In Utah a few years ago I asked for the manager at Walmart. I explained my opposition and disappointment (calmly) to the magazines on the check out stand. It didn't take much effort to select a few magazines to represent my case. Not just sexually explicit photos but titles... I asked them to help me protect my children from such innapropriate things by not exposing them to it in their check out stands. "I recognize other people right to choose to find and read these things but by placing it in your stands it removes my right to protect my family from it unless I stop shopping here". The manager was very understanding and told me that she had my very thoughts and appreciated a customer documenting it". The next time I visited they had hard plastic covers on the magazines.
My latest objection comes due to a very difficult situation. My 12 year old daughter is invited tonight to a birthday party. After the party the group of girls are "excited" to go see new moon.
I will admit that I was in objection to my family watching this mostly due to what I perceive as innapropriate sexual exploitation. I believe that it is innapropriate for a developed man (an 8 year old boy isn't typically found sexually exciting by the opposite sex) to be virtually unclothed. If you were to ask most women what they find sexually interesting in a man they will probably list a bare chest, muscles or nice stomach somewhere on their list (right after a nice smile). So, for hollywood to capitolize on this fact by removing actors shirts whenever possible to captivate and stimulate women/girls is irresponsible and wrong. I hope that my extreme stand on this does not undermine the fact... exploiting and actor or actress for sexually stimluating material just to draw an audience and make money is morally wrong. To acceptingly watch it is worse (in my opinion).
However, getting past my initial primary objection I came to realize that I was missing an even more damaging aspect of this movie. The message that it sends to both teenage girls and adult women is tragic. The main female character is obsessed with Edward. She must have him. If she can't her entire world will crumble. She will do anything to have him. She will sacrifice family, friends and even her soul to have him. In fact, she will attempt suicide if she can't have him. That is, until her heart heals some and she becomes infactuated with a shirtless young man that has spent a year of his life (since the last movie) dedicating himself to becoming a sex symbol (which the movie capitolizes on). He and his fellow warewolves spend more time in the movie mostly naked for the purpose of sexually intriguing young girls and married women. But, as that physical attraction wares off she then goes back to her original love.
Anyway, my opinion is that this movie and most are completely innapropriate. I regret having been exposed to such things when I grew up and hope to be able to help my children avoid the same mistakes by learning form my mistakes. I do not endorse that they watch this movie that som many, including good members of the church, find so acceptable. That a mormom woman wrote the novels does not justify the content. It just makes it that much more tragic.
Society is very accepting. That does not qualify appropriateness.
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8 years ago
10 comments:
After re-reading my post I wanted to clarify something. I do not want to imply that I do not take responsibility for the mistakes I have made in my life. We all must. But, the real point is that our environment contributes greatly to influencing factors that shape our minds and spirits. Therefore, impacting our ability to make good and wise choices. We have a responsibility to remove as much damaging and negative influences as possible. In a world infested with such things that is no easy task. Being casual is far from the right step.
I would like to hear comments from all the sisters whom I know had their own infatuations with the books. I know most, if not all of you, were not not so interested in the movie. Why? (for both movie and book) I have had discussions with friends about this crazy phenomenon and it usually just ends up with us making fun of Edward. Probably because that's what shallow guys do when they can't compete. My wife has not read to books but has seen the movie,several times, probably because I keep suggesting it, maybe I should be worried......about myself. I gotta learn his skills. Here's a link to a friend of mines thoughts on the subject. http://rockmitchell.blogspot.com/2009/01/women-seem-to-love-fictional-men.html
Kendall and I took Keni to midnight showings of Twilight and New Moon. We enjoyed them both.
I believe my daughter is smart enough to sort through the stuff you have mentioned. Yes, girls and women were all giddy at the site of a naked chest. It was a little silly in my opinion, but it is what it is. It may be important to note that the main couple does NOT have sexual relations until after they are married (if I'm remembering correctly). That was a big deal to me.
I think these books are harmless when read for what they are, which is entertainment. We can see around the heavy issues you have mentioned and enjoy them as a good read.
I'm not suggesting that everything you said is garbage. I see the value in protecting our chidren from harmless things. I TRULY see the value in that. I just don't think these books/movies are harmless. That may be because we have open dialog with our children about things that may seem questionable. Hopefully we've done right by them and will continue to do so.
Oops.
"I just don't think these books/movies are hamrFUL"
thanks.
I guess I have more to say. : )
It's important to note, as well, that the main character (Edward) left Bella because he was trying to protect her. He forsook his own desires to give her what she needed.... her life.
Bella wasn't suicidal. She was an adrenaline junky, wanting to catch a glimpse of Edward. She also trusted that Alice would see the vision and she'd gain contact with the Cullens again.
I also think that in real life you would have teen drama during breakups. What teenage girl isn't going to suffer depression and obsession and loneliness, as well as doubt herself, if a boy she likes dumps her?! I remember those days quite well. I think it's part of the teen angst and drama part of life that most girls and even boys might experience. Heck, if Kendall up and walked out right now without a reason, after almost 16 years of marriage.... I might just curl up in a ball and forget life for a while as well. We're not programmed all that well to deal with unexplainable happenings such as these. Teenagehood significantly increases the feelings of confusion and hopelessness. It's just a part of life.
Okay, I'm ready. Deep breath.....
Without child to protect, and only my own perceptions I can say I safely read the books and I saw one of the movies. The movie was horrid; humorously bad. But I was judging it on acting and effects, and well...since I knew the books content were the equivalent of junk food, I didn't expect a really "meaty" movie I could get lost in. haha. But I can agree that Bella is a pitiful character that I really wouldn't want any child to emulate. She was negative, dependent, and dramatic. Not a fan.
I spent a summer at EFY before my mission. I was a counselor and in a way spiritual guide for 13-17 year old youth for a week of their lives. The theme of this years sessions was Power In Purity and in succeeding months the focus of many of the youth leaders of the church as been virtue -- due to this I spent much time considering virutue and purity and how to express the gravity of this to the youth I worked with and in my own life. I taught the class on the importance of education throughotu the week and would ask all of them their favorite books. I was surprised to hear that Twilight was one, along wit Harry Potter books. This was the first I heard of the Twilight series and didn't think much of it besides that it seemed extremely popular. As I returned to school my roommates raved about the books, they had been their summer entertainment and told me I must read them -- I was busy getting ready for a mission and trying to finish my C.S. Lewis so it never happened. As I finished the semester and went home I found my own sister had all the books and as my days were spent along at home and I enjoy reading I decided to tak everyone up on it and quickly read my way through them all -- it was time well wasted and quite enlightening and disturbing to me. I must admit I read it with the perspective that these were my young sisters books and that all summer i had heard all the young women of the church tell me how much they loved them -- I happen to be an extremist as my Father, I may be particularly sensitive to certain things but pornography is anything which arouses sexual feelings in medium of books, pictures, movies, music etc. and often we forget this -- focusing only on the evils of bad photographs -- amidst the seemingly innocent story driven with shallow themes that would easily attract the attention and deisres of the female teenage age group are depictions of what I believe fit within this category, words and depictions which are arousing and destructive to our understanding of what is real and expected. One of the great evils of pornography of any form is that it creates unrealistic expectations and in affect destroys proper and real relationships. This is Satan's plan, he pushes us apart, he builds up small and simiple layers that isolate us -- he creates situations that seems harmless but they are. This may be an extreme view, but as I have studied the recent pull from the youth leaders of the church virtue is something we must cling to, it is failing in the world and I see it all around me (even here at BYU) we must protect ourselves at all cost, shun that which does not edify and seek for the enlightening so that we might be strong enough to withstand the great temptations around us and be prepared to do all the good we were meant to do -- Even if it is not "that bad" is there really time for us to indulge in that which is not "that bad" when there is so much good to discover and learn? I fail at this daily - I waste my time I find certain contentment in the simple and maybe light-minded but I feel strongly, and more so now than in years past that we should endeavor to lessen the time in such things and put ourselves on a higher level than that of the world we are surrounded by.
My thoughts are not well organized and i type too fast and thus too much so contratulations if you read all of this and I hope not to have offended anyone it is only what I feel.
...p.s. don't mind my typos like -- congratulations, I really do know how to spell :)
Also, my comments are entirely book based and not so much movie based. As far as the movies go -- like Em said Twilight was just not very well done and humorously so. I have seen and know of many movies with far worse content -- but it's where else it will go and what it is causing in the minds of otehrs demonstrated in some of the comments they have made. I think problem lies in much of what i saw the teenage world writing about their anticipation of the future movies. They hope for sex and know from the books that they will get to see something on screen, they just aren't sure yet how far the movie world will take them. Let's hope not TOO far as the saga continues.
i guess i feel life should be honest fair and uphold standards for both genders of human kind.
if the situation was reversed and adult men were lineing up at midnight to see a female characture would you still feel the same way about them, would you want your bishop father or husband to express this type of admiration.
i think you would feel uncomfortable if that were the case.
excellent points mike good job
In the words of a man who danced around in parachute pants without a shirt I might add.
"NaNaNaNa NaNa Na Na Cant Touch This!"
I like the strong convictions they are well founded. I took Noodle, Kate and ( Taylor by force) to the midnight movie. It was entertaining silly and gratuitous pectoralis majors. It reminded me of my undying devotion to Andy Gibb on the frontcover of Teen Beat Magazine. He was my heart throb. I never took that twitterpation to another level of inappropriate, it just remains the innocence of my youth. I was hoping thats what this was for my girls. I didnt read the books but I know it has had different meaning to different readers.
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